wellisntthatshiny:

So, for part of my AP Calc project my partner Josh and I wrote a Calc/Math parody of Lemon Demon’s Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny. My friend Jake did the guitar and drums parts as well as helped me to record (my frankly terrible) singing. I figured someone out there might appreciate this.

Background: B. Ware is a precalc teacher infamous for destroying top student’s GPAs with her honors precalc classes which are considered the hardest classes in the school, including APs. Mr. Tiebout is my AP Calc teacher.

Lyrics

Gottfried Leibniz was integrating

math equations like one, two, three

When suddenly Newton burst into the fray

And hit Leibniz with Principia

G. Leibniz got pissed and began to attack

But didn’t expect to be blocked by Jacques

Who proceeded to open up a can of Jacques might

When Olaf Roemer came out of the light

And he started beating up Jacques Cassini

Then they both got flattened by the power series

But before Newton went back to Cambridge U

Daniel Bernoulli then joined the snafu

And took a sweet barometer out from under his coat

And blew Newton away with the theorem he wrote

But he ran out of pressure and he ran away

Because Victor Thébault came to save the day

It’s the Mathematical Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

Professors, TAs, and students as far as the eye can see

And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be

It’s the Mathematical Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

G. Leibniz took a bite out of Victor Thébault

Like Michael Scot took a bite of occult

And then Jacques came back covered in a sigma stack

But Pál Turán jumped out and landed on his back

And Newton was injured, and trying to get steady

When Daniel Bernoulli made utility

But suddenly something caught his eye and he droops

Emil Leon Post used Polyadic groups

Then he saw G. Leibniz sneaking up from behind

And he reached for his proof which he just couldn’t find

‘Cause Newton stole it but he had to succumb

When Pál Turán developed Power Sum

Then he wrote in the air and made graph theory

And Daniel Bernoulli used energy

Meanwhile Thébault worked on Problems One, Two, Three

Using a whole bunch of geometry

It’s the Mathematical Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

Professors, TAs, and students as far as the eye can see

And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be

It’s the Mathematical Showdown…

Angels sang out while suspended in the air

Down from the heavens descended B. Ware

Who delivered a kick which could lead astray

Even the best of students’ GPAs

They fell over on the ground, writhing in pain

One hid behind principle of least constraint

But Ware saw through his clever disguise

And she crushed the student’s grade with a glance of her eyes

Then Johannes Kepler and Rene Descartes

and Johann Peter Gustav Lejeune Dirichlet

and Augustin Louis Cauchy and Thomas Simpson

and Pierre Laplace and William Hamilton

John Wallis, G. Furbini, Lord Kelvin, and Agnesi

George Green, Furier, Leonardo Fibonacci

Hypathia, and Albert Einstein,

Scott, Blackwell, Noether, and Oronce Fine

All came out of nowhere lightning fast

and they knocked B. Ware on her precalc ass

It was the dorkiest battle the world ever saw

With civilians looking on in total awe

And the math raged on for centuries

Many proofs were claimed, but eventually

The champion stood, the rest saw their better:

Mr. Tiebout in an argyle sweater

It’s the Mathematical Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

Professors, TAs, and students as far as the eye can see

And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be

It’s the Mathematical Showdown….

This is the Mathematical Showdown…

This is the Mathematical Showdown…

Of Ultimate Destiny