whenever I’m underwater I always touch my hair because there’s no frizz and it’s smooth and flowing and all w h o o s h and that’s why I’m pissed I’m not a fucking mermaid.
“In 2002, having spent more than three years in one residence for the first time in my life, I got called for jury duty. I show up on time, ready to serve. When we get to the voir dire, the lawyer says to me, “I see you’re an astrophysicist. What’s that?” I answer, “Astrophysics is the laws of physics, applied to the universe—the Big Bang, black holes, that sort of thing.” Then he asks, “What do you teach at Princeton?” and I say, “I teach a class on the evaluation of evidence and the relative unreliability of eyewitness testimony.” Five minutes later, I’m on the street.
A few years later, jury duty again. The judge states that the defendant is charged with possession of 1,700 milligrams of cocaine. It was found on his body, he was arrested, and he is now on trial. This time, after the Q&A is over, the judge asks us whether there are any questions we’d like to ask the court, and I say, “Yes, Your Honor. Why did you say he was in possession of 1,700 milligrams of cocaine? That equals 1.7 grams. The ‘thousand’ cancels with the ‘milli-’ and you get 1.7 grams, which is less than the weight of a dime.” Again I’m out on the street.”
powerful Black Science Man
Too sick a burn not to reblog
I love him.
2. If a boy is mean to you, it doesn’t always mean he likes you. It usually means he’s a dick.
3. It doesn’t matter if you like boys or girls or both or none.
4. Speak up. Don’t hold it in, you’ll only break yourself.
5. Give yourself room to breathe.
6. Make lists, they’ll help you feel organized.
7. Eighth grade sucks, get over it.
9. Friends come and go, but donuts will never hurt you.
10. Don’t be rude to people who have pictures of you from your awkward years.
11. Ninth grade really fucking sucks. Get over it.
12. Straighten your hair all you want or curl it all you want, but don’t be surprised when you walk around smelling like burnt popcorn.
13. Don’t drink or smoke just because everyone else does. If you want to do it, then go ahead. I can’t stop you, but keep in mind that following the crowd often results in writing journal entries about how badly you fucked up.
14. Tenth grade sucks. Get over it.
15. Your grades are important. They do not determine your intelligence, but your grades are keys that will either open up doors for you or keep you locked out.
16. Do not trust people who don’t like dogs.
17. Look up feminism before you talk about how you don’t support it because you believe in equality.
18. Develop your own ideas and interests.
19. Most of high school sucks, you’ll get over it.
20. Keep a journal.
21. There’s a difference between being blunt and being a complete fucking asshole
22. Love yourself, even if you feel like no one else does.
23. Heartbreak is inevitable, but you were fine before them and you’ll be fine after them.
24. Screw “I’m not like other girls”. Love other girls, support other girls, stand by other girls, protect other girls.
25. Stay alive.
26. Don’t do blue eyeshadow in middle school. Love yourself and don’t let people change who you are, but for the love of God do not do blue eyeshadow in middle school.
|—||"Pieces of Advice for My Younger Sister", Elsie Gonzalez (via avvfvl)|
In humiliation time, I am usually the one being humiliated.
BLACKER THAN THE BLACKEST BLACK
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.” - Albert Schweitzer
writing adult emails is awful
hi [name of person],
this formatting is making me uncomfortable but I have to tell you something / ask you something that is vital to my career as a student.
I re-read and edited that sentence for an hour, but you’ll probably just glance over it for half a second.